Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in her underwear. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend. (The Manchester Evening News)
Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It’s a Special Branch vehicle and they don’t want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian)
Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, “We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It’s possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house.” (The Daily Telegraph)
A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast guard spokesman commented, “This sort of thing is all too common”. (The Times)
At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coast guard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn’t have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff. ( Aberdeen Evening Express)
Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue , Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled – “He’d always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out ‘Heil Hitler.’” ( Bournemouth Evening Echo)
Hayden Tompkins
/ August 19, 2008“It’s possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house.”
LMAO!
Joy
/ August 19, 2008I love the last one. Can you imagine?? LOL!!!
vishesh
/ August 19, 2008lol
SanityFound
/ August 19, 2008*grins* you got to love the British sense of humour!
froggywoogie
/ August 19, 2008I loved the Land Rover one. I can visualize the flegmatic coast guard coming back on foot and telling his superiors “oh by the way…”
SanityFound
/ August 19, 2008ROFL!!!
glaize
/ August 20, 2008OMG I so love them! I dunno but I’ve a thing for British humour…I find them annoyingly hilarious. Or was that hilariously annoying?
Anyway, this was a good laugh as always
ilegirl
/ August 20, 2008Oh yes, the Grand Masters of Understatement.
SanityFound
/ August 20, 2008ROFL at you two! sorry am still laughing at your fly comment Ilegirl yurgh
Aparna Gonibeed
/ August 20, 2008The things people do for love!!! A salami? Really? Brits were always the strange kind.. still are, i guess.. But then again, we are also strange! I think humans are a strange species.. !!! Yeah! That’s what I think!
SanityFound
/ August 20, 2008Humans are never dull that is for sure, just have a read on the Darwin awards and then you kinda go “huh no WAYS!”