You know you are addicted to coffee if:
People get dizzy just watching you.
Instant coffee takes too long.
You sleep with your eyes open.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
You don’t sweat, you percolate.
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
You chew on other people’s fingernails.
You’ve worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
You’re so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.
You can jump-start your car without cables.
You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.
You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
You’ve built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
You channel surf faster without a remote.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
You short out motion detectors.
You don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
You ski uphill.
You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked.
You answer the door before people knock.
You haven’t blinked since the last lunar eclipse
vishesh
/ August 27, 2008lol…alright even though most of it doesn’t suit me….i am a coffee addict
lol get a head ache if i don’t have my coffee 
Joy
/ August 27, 2008You mean we aren’t supposed to sneeze with our eyes open???
Writer Dad
/ August 27, 2008“You chew on other people’s fingers.”
Stop it! You know how coffee makes me pee.
@mmonyte
/ August 27, 2008I see our Dear Leader, the JR “Bob” Dobbs himself,modeled for your artwork.
froggywoogie
/ August 27, 2008This coffee addict is LOL.
I’m putting myself out of addiction though, I have started a few weeks ago. It’s tough, especially in the morning, but little by little I’m winning over it.
I’m not stopping completely because I am in love with coffee but I want to kill the addiction.
My favs: “you don’t sweat, you percolate” and “you answer the door before people knock” lol lol lol
froggywoogie
/ August 27, 2008I started a few weeks ago. Oops
holeycheese
/ August 27, 2008But I still want a cup..
Matt
/ August 27, 2008was just reading an article before I found this one called Drinking Coffee is a Health Lifestyle Choice,” that made some excellent points on the benefits of coffee drinking. I suggest reading it.
SanityFound
/ August 28, 2008Vishesh… that and you do not want to see what I am like BEFORE my coffee
Joy yers I was shocked to and what is worse you are aparantly meant to put your hand in front of your mouth! Can you BELIEVE that???
Writer Dad I am quite literally laughing my ass off! too funny!
@mmo he did indeed, that cheesy grin is one of a kind!
Froggywoogie you are too funny “I have started a few weeks ago” and “I started a few weeks ago” … its amazing what one word can do… lmao
Holeycheese *hands over cup of freshly brewed*
Matt Coffee is much like red wine, both are healthy but the health nuts refuse to accept that some “bad” things are “good”… I drink red wine regularly for the fact that it lowers my blood pressure…
froggywoogie
/ August 28, 2008Oh I had no merits for being funny there, it was just a serious grammar mistake in the language of Shakespeare that I had to correct immediatly after committing it
glaize
/ August 28, 2008Does mocha count?
“You’ve built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.” – hush! Don’t tell anyone this!
SanityFound
/ August 28, 2008ROFL I am just so glad you aren’t still upset that I accidentally knocked it down!
SanityFound
/ August 28, 2008Froggywoogy aye that is how it happens to me and everyone things I am funny – our secret