Merry Christmas!

No I am not confused, hold your horses.

While chatting to a friend tonight about Santa Claus/Christmas (Believing in the wonders of God life and imagination) and our beliefs surrounding them, growing up, etc it reminded me of something I do often. Something that is so natural to me that I don’t think twice about it, it is apart of who I am… yet another oddity but perhaps not.

I have always loved Christmas but not in the traditional sense. I’ve always hated family Christmas time since I was kid. They always came hand in hand with massive arguments and destruction of mass proportions much like the picture on the left. Even as an adult I’d think to myself, ok this year will be different I’ll venture into a family gathering, only to get it proven to me time and time again.

For me it is always safer to spend it alone, perhaps that is sad but that is the way it is for me. But just because I don’t celebrate that day or I avoid spending it with anyone doesn’t however mean I don’t believe in it.

Instead I celebrate it for 365 days of the year, that way I can bypass the bad ju-ju of “Christmas past” and spread a bit of cheer all year round. The thing is I have never really actively thought about the fact that I do it nor the fact that it might seem strange to people.

So during my chat tonight I was reminded of something I do often, something that is so natural to me that I don’t think twice about it, it is apart of who I am… yet another oddity but perhaps not.

I have a habit of giving things to people, both those I know and those I don’t. I might be in the shop and see something that I know someone will like/need and I get it for them, it is the way I am. It seems to confuse people, we humans seem to think that gifts are only for birthdays and Christmas times and I always get asked the reason for me giving the present to them. My response is always to tell them that its Christmas and wish them a Merry one. Upon hearing me wish them a Merry Christmas they always laugh, perhaps for the fact that they think I am mad, but generally they add “I do love Christmas” with the biggest smiles.

Why should Christmas only be on the 25 December? Why should birthdays and Christmas be the only time that you give either of your heart or a gift?

Why?

Have you never had a Christmas party in June? Never??? You haven’t lived till you have done that! For those who live in the southern hemisphere you get to experience a Christmas in winter and those in the Northern parts a Christmas in summer… bliss!

You’re serious? You’ve never had a Christmas party in June?

Why not?

For me Christmas is every day it doesn’t matter the date or the season, I will always wish you a Merry Christmas and I often sing Jingle Bells out loud driving those in my vicinity mad.

So my friends I wish you a Merry Christmas, spread the cheer all year round, there are no rules saying we can’t…

…be it Summer or Winter…

Merry Christmas and happy new day!

Sometimes the greatest gifts are those that are unexpected for they come more from the heart than expectation

Messages in Pictures

Graphic play in abstract with more words than the spoken tongue carrying a simple message…

Universal Respect… lead by example?

In light of all the recent discussions one simple theme seems to be emerging, that of education and the right kind of education. It got me thinking on how the lessons we learn as children so often follow through to our adult life. Growing up I was surrounded by the family motto of “treat others as you wish to be treated” and “respect everyone no matter who or what they are”. My family didn’t only say those words they showed me how it was done. So much of teaching is in the doing, showing and passing the simple message of action onwards.

Words are so often empty when not backed up by action. A person that says one thing only to do the opposite in action destroys the principle. How do we learn? Do we learn by words or by action? If we are learning a new language it is easier to learn by hearing the spoken word than reading it from a book; As toddlers we learn to walk by watching the others do it, we watch how their legs move and then try it ourselves; If our parents have no respect for the person next door because they are of the wrong colour ten to one we will adopt their views as our own and not respect them as well. Our evolving cycle, what we do is far more important than what we say.

The problem is that, if we are taught by our forefathers to disrespect then the only way we can learn respect is by seeing others do it in action. In my house alone there are two different entities, one that was brought up in pro apartheid and one that was against, the different cultures and lessons that each were shown as children are immense. The pro apartheid one will take some work, often saying things that are totally disrespectful, the other, the one against, continuously showing him the right way by giving, respecting and proving the opposite.

Change doesn’t come over night but slowly the wood work is chipped away. The other day the pro apartheid one lost his mirror off his bike while hurtling down one of our little regional roads, a busy one. He pulled over so as to go into the middle of the road and retrieve it. As he got off his bike a car stopped and an old gentleman of colour got out and asked him if he could help him. These two were similar ages there by the elderly gentleman felt the true force of the apartheid years and yet he was stopping and asking to help.

The elderly gentleman put on his hazard lights (flickers) and tried to warn the other cars to slow down as he went into the middle of the road to get the mirror. As he got towards the middle close to the mirror a car came hurtling towards him, missing him but smashing the mirror to smithereens. When pro apartheid got back to the otherside of the road where the elderly gentleman was waiting clutching the shards and casing of his mirror, the elderly gentleman turned to pro apartheid and said “How sad is this world when one man can not respect another”. Ironic isn’t it that pro apartheid was told by the very person he disrespected because of his colour that it was sad that men did not respect each other enough.

By that simple action of the elderly gentleman firstly stopping to help and then to share those words had a huge effect on pro apartheid, they were similar ages both with a lifetime of learning behind them. When pro apartheid got back home shattered by almost being run over, for the loss of his swanky BMW mirror (ouch!) he was shaken but couldn’t stop talking about the other elderly gentleman that stopped to help him. Since then pro apartheid hasn’t been so pro, he doesn’t shout at the TV in rage or blame things on colour but rather just the government. He very rarely uses those derogatory words, it is as if by being shown respect and being shown how it works has changed him inside, has taught him that each human should be respected regardless of race, sex or the country they come from.

I am grateful the good lessons I was shown when I was younger, there was a time when we only ate cereal or bread because we couldn’t afford anything else and yet my mother continued to give, make a sandwich for a friend who also in difficulty; Giving the clothes we had grown out of to others that could use them and accepting others clothes as a gift so that we could be clothed. The lessons by my mothers actions were to respect each and every person no matter who, treat people as you want to be treated and to never stop sharing what you have to someone in need.

So the saying comes to mind “Actions speak louder than words”, one of the most true sayings I have ever heard. Makes you think… if more people acted and by doing so putting substance into empty words perhaps there will be more respect in the world, perhaps there will be more of the right kind of education…

The moral of this story is, respect each and every person, treat others as you would like to be treated and pass on the actions of your ways so that others may learn and be shown how its done.

To steal a phrase from a wise friend… a simple drop in the ocean can make many waves…

You, who are on the road
Must have a code
That you can live by.
And so, become yourself
Because the past
Is just a goodbye.

Teach your children well
Their father’s hell
Did slowly go by
And feed them on your dreams
The one they pick
The one you’ll know by
Don’t you ever ask them why
If they told you, you would cry
So just look at them and sigh
And know they love you.

And you (Can you hear and)
Of tender years (Do you care and)
Can’t know the fears (Can you see we)
That your elders grew by (Must be free to)
And so please help (Teach your children)
Them with your youth (You believe and)
They seek the truth (Make a world that)
Before they can die (We can live in)

Teach your parents well
Their children’s hell
Will slowly go by
And feed them on your dreams
The one they pick
The one you’ll know by

Don’t you ever ask them why
If they told you, you would cry
So just look at them and sigh
And know they love you

Good Luck Amber :D

I have posted this song before but I’ve decided to do so again, fellow blogger Amberfireinus (What question would you ask a person of inspiration?) has been asked to be interviewed by a radio station as a woman of inspiration to the world. She might have been shocked but I don’t think any of us were. Her posts on a daily basis touch so many hearts, make us think and open our minds, hearts and souls.

Perhaps I am ahead of time but I am in Saturday already as some of you sleep it is but approaching, today is the day her life will change forever and more people other than us in the bloggosphere will be inspired by her words, wisdom and just plain who she is. So lets all stand together and wish this wonderful person a hearty and MIGHTY good luck.

Don’t be nervous, we all stand behind you and are all cheering you on! Wish I could give you the biggest hug in the world, am so proud of you!!!

I’m broke but I’m happy
I’m poor but I’m kind
I’m short but I’m healthy, yeah

I’m high but I’m grounded
I’m sane but I’m overwhelmed
I’m lost but I’m hopeful, baby

And what it all comes down to
Is that everything’s gonna be fine fine fine
Cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five

I feel drunk but I’m sober
I’m young and I’m underpaid
I’m tired but I’m working, yeah

I care but I’m restless
I’m here but I’m really gone
I’m wrong and I’m sorry, baby

And what it all comes down to
Is that everything’s gonna be quite alright
Cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette

-Music pause-

And what it all comes down to
Is that I haven’t got it all figured out just yet
Cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign

I’m free but I’m focused
I’m green but I’m wise
I’m hard but I’m friendly, baby

I’m sad but I’m laughing
I’m brave but I’m chicken shit
I’m sick but I’m pretty, baby

And what it all boils down to
Is that no one’s really got it figured out just yet
Cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing a piano

And what it all comes down to my friends, yeah
Is that everything is just fine fine fine
Cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab

Today I made a grown man cry

Today I made a grown man cry, I was so shocked that my simple act could reduce him to tears and stumbling with words.

As I walked towards the shop to get some chocolate for a sick mother I noticed an elderly man of about 70 leaning against the wall of the shop in his Sunday best counting his coins that he kept in a see through bank bag. As I walked closer I saw him leave the wall and slowly start to walk away from the shop in my direction, his shoulders slumped with such sadness.

Without thinking I put my hand in my pocket and then put my hand in his, he looked down and then looked up into my eyes, when they connected his filled with a rush of tears, he grabbed both my hands and said thank you so many times I was shocked. I couldn’t say anything to him other than “Dis vir jou Oom” (This is for you Uncle) which shocked him even more, a white girl calling a coloured man Oom, (To call someone Oom is one of the greatest signs of respect). His face just lit up and then I shocked him further by giving him a hug, by that time both of us were in such shock (I from his tears and him from what I did) that neither of us could talk so I just patted him on his back and told him that I hoped he had a wonderful day and walked into the shop speechless but smiling.

I tell you this story not for praise, not to make you think of me as a great person, for that I am not, I do not look for your praise. I will not tell you how much I gave him nor whether I could afford it or not, I will not tell you how many times I have done this nor the other crazy things that I have done. The only people that know are the ones who have been with me when I did them and the other person. I am not a saint, nor do I ever want to be seen as one.

The fact that people curse and swear at these people when they are doing the best they can, they are too old to work, they have hardly anything, they don’t even ask for charity! They are the forgotten ones, they are the wise ones for they have been where we have been and more, yet we ignore them, why?

*Boring statistic: This elderly gentleman is a pensioner, the average pension in SA is a grand total of R700 ($90) a month if you are lucky some get as little as R600 ($77). The food prices in SA are higher than in the UK which, if we look at it realistically, is ridiculous seen as the exchange rate is R16 to ₤1. On average per month to feed two people basics it will cost a R1000 ($130). Perhaps we are cheap, but those are basics, I’m talking milk, bread, vegetables and meat once a week.

I give you this story in hope that one day I might not have to walk back home with tears running down my cheeks in sadness that someone had to stand there in his best suit counting out his money to see if he had enough to buy simple groceries, not asking for charity or change from another soul for embarrassment and shame. I give you this story so that his tears from the shock of a simple act of kindness are no more.

Giving to others or being kind is unconditional, it should not have any price tag attached, it should not be done so as to get your name in the paper, or a tax cut, it should not be done to boost your public image or your self image, it should be done from one person to another with out any expectation of retribution.

This world is sick when a grown man cries for a simple act of kindness, how will this world ever get better if we don’t help it?

If you want to read more on this topic head over to Amberfireinus posts titled The Spirit of Pass it on and The Gift of Charity is Personal or my previous post The Pyramid Scheme I really Like