You can still be free

It’s funny how some songs find you, once long lost they make their way back to your ears, for what ever reason they replay within the walls of your mind as the mundane tasks progress and life ticks forward.

This song’s lyrics are so powerful, more powerful perhaps for their undercurrent meaning.  We get lost even though we seem found, we can feel sadness within the happiest setting and physical pain because our heart is hurting, our hearts are missing a piece, our souls tortured.

No matter how dark it all seems time will always set us free, even when all hope is lost light will find its way of breaking through… if you want it to, if you are willing to keep flying for just a little while longer.

I’ve met many people who perpetually say that life is shit, that life is pointless, that nothing good ever happens to them to the point that when good comes their way it is as if the night turns a darker shade of black.  Nothing is good enough, no human can do anything right, nothing is worth anything except personal gain and even then it isn’t seen as such.

When these people realise the damage they have caused to others, not only others but to themselves as well, they can get stuck in the thought process of “even if I change, what is the point, who will be left to see the new me? Who will still want to talk to me?”. Shame and darkness invades once more but the truth is that those that count do see, do care and will be filled with true happiness at their shrugging the cloak of darkness. Vicious circles of night in a daylight filled world.

My wish for those people and for everyone is that they keep on flying, fly high up into the sky and keep flapping those wings… time always sets us free if we believe.

Cool breeze and autumn leaves
Slow motion daylight
A lone pair of watchful eyes
Oversee the living
Feel the presence all around
A tortured soul
A wound unhealing
NO regrets or promises
The past is gone
But you can still be free
If time will set you free

Time now to spread your wings
To take to flight
The life endeavor
Aim for the burning sun
You’re trapped inside
But you can still be free
If time will set you free
But it’s a long long way to go

Keep moving way up high
You see the light
It shines forever
Sail through the crimson skies
The purest light
The light that sets you free
If time will set you free

Sail through the wind and rain tonight
You’re free to fly tonight
And you can still be free
If time will set you free
And going higher than mountain tops
And go high LIKE THE WIND DON`T STOP
And go high
Free to fly tonight
Free to fly tonight

Self tanning for life

image Yesterday while out walking I caught a glimpse of my newly tanned legs sporting shorts that I haven’t fitted in to for years and was so chuffed with myself! I can’t tell you how exciting it was the fact that the mere sight of my bare skin didn’t cause my eyes to get glare cramp. Yip, you know the one where you look at something really bright and you quickly shut your eyes and rub them hoping for the pain to go away? That’s the one I normally get when I look at my skin, I tend to go a tad on the ghost look during winter. Not my fault, I blame my position in the queue on the way down to earth, that and my parents.  Look it’s like this ok, in the shower I wear sunglasses, honest, am not joking here!

So self tan really works for me, I get to cover over the glare while the real tan slowly seeps through becoming the real deal.  I don’t bother in winter no, what is the point? I am fully covered and sunglasses are kind of fun um yeah.  Moving along swiftly…

The truth about self tan though is that it wears off after a while with the ideal that when it does there would be hardly any difference in skin tone.  While you wear it you take the glare away and allow the sun to tone your skin colour with out the risk of lovely red peeling skin. 

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In the past I’ve used self tan on my soul as well, sometimes it is easier for me to fake it till I make it.  When something really traumatic or big goes down in my world I absorb the news and then continue as if nothing has happened.  No, it is not that I am blocking it merely putting on a front for the outside world while I process.

If the process takes longer because of the depth of the “trauma/pain/circumstance” then I just keep on reapplying the self tan until I feel ready to let my own skin show again.

For me, being able to fake it till I have finished processing, works and I don’t feel an ounce of guilt about it either.  Perhaps it does for you as well or perhaps you are one of types of people who have no need for it. Either way if you do it or not there is nothing to feel bad about.

Always remember that sometimes the self tan is just a thin layer, sometimes it is a number of layers, it all depends on the glare on the soul.  The brighter the glare the more self tan that is applied but the one thing that is certain through it all is that there will come a time when the faking it becomes making it, the fake tan fades and the real true colour shows once more.

Faking always fades, it never lasts, and our true souls come out to play once more… you just have to be willing to allow it to happen and in its own time.

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… Smile on …

Working winter to enjoy the Summer

I don’t know about you, but I suffer from the Winterassgrowth disease, yip you know the one where you get all cosy, eat more, less exercise and just be, that one.  Much like a squirrel storing its supplies for hibernation our bodies tend to hit this mode, anything we eat it keeps some back in “supplies” to keep our bodies warm.

So if you are like me then ten to one you don’t tend to work out or exercise as hard during winter as you would in summer.  First hint of summer and we go “oh bleep” and start a mad rush to get in shape so that we can fit back into our summer clothes.  Pure incredible madness.

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In emotions it is much the same.  During the winter, sad, depressing, rough times in our lives we tend to bury ourselves much like that squirrel in hope of sunshine.  We build our defences, erect our walls, turn people away and run from our problems in hope that they would just disappear in our melancholy.  We spend our time coping, surviving and keeping warm, not working out our emotional muscles, learning from the experience and breathing.  We stop breathing.

Both you and I know our problems never just go away, if we don’t deal with our pasts, our issues or learn the lessons that need to be learnt they come back to bite us on our asses. We both know that they bite hard when they do and ten to one its during a glorious summer.  Because we never faced what we needed to, because we ran away instead of facing everything head on our summer days are shortened and tarnished with winter rains.

What if while going through a really rough time we hold on tight, we hang in there, we face the things that come our way and we breathe…

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What if we worked out during winter, would this give us more time to enjoy the summer?

No matter how far we run from our problems they always find us like the genie in the bottle just waiting for that “rub” to pop out and throw everything back at your feet to deal with.

The sooner you deal with Winter the sooner you will be able to enjoy a true summer…

… breathe.

Keeping your head above water…

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One day we wake up to find ourselves in the water without a lifeboat or buoy, nothing to help us float, we’re stuck with no way towards the land.

We slowly start treading the water, at first its easy, our legs keep us going, our arms move slowly in the water.  We stay a float, our heads are in the fresh air and things seem bearable.

Slowly we start to tire, our mental muscles start taking strain, our proverbial legs become exhausted and our arms numb.   Our bodies start to sink as if invisible hands have grabbed onto our ankles and pulling us under.  The deeper we are pulled the colder it gets, our spirits become dampened.

At first we fight, we summon up the last shred of energy to kick back towards the surface, we struggle with all our might against the invisible hands.  When we break the surface we gasp for air, pulling as much into our lungs as we call, we cough the water we swallowed out.  We continue to try with all our might to keep our heads in the fresh air.

As our mental muscles tire, as we fight to stay above water we start to feel something brush against our legs on and off.  Thoughts of “What was that??? Was it seaweed??? Was it a fish??? eel??? SHARK???” run through our minds only to realise that it was just another change in the current we find ourselves in.  We feel things in a heightened state, our senses feel things that are perceived but not necessarily real.

If our minds are too tired and our senses too heightened we run the risk of never realizing that it wasn’t a shark or even a fish, we believe, see, feel, perceive it to be full blown reality.  The risk of being in this state is that it pulls our focus off keeping our heads above the water, while fighting off the sharks and creatures brushing against our legs we don’t realise how far we have sunk into the darkness.  The deeper we sink the harder it is to get ourselves back towards the surface.

No matter how far down we go in the ocean of life we always have the “will” to survive, it is a natural instinct that each one of us carries deep inside of ourselves.  It lies there, sometimes almost dormant in its nature, but always present.  The “will” is a decision that each one of us makes every day, if we realise we have sunk deeper we need to use our legs, our arms, our everything to push ourselves back up towards the surface.  Our arms, our legs, they are our friends, our hobbies, our passions… sometimes our mental muscles get so numb that we forget that they are there waiting and willing.  Our helping hands.

Every single one of us, both you and I, carry faith, belief and hope.  These are human characteristic’s that we all have, it doesn’t matter whether you are an Atheist, Christian, Spiritualist or Buddhist.  It doesn’t matter what or who you are, where you are from, young or old, poor or rich, we all have them.

Faith that everything will work out, that our feet will touch solid ground one day soon

Belief that it all happens for a reason, that the world is just as it is and that everything is possible, belief in yourself, belief in hope, belief that the solid ground is closer than we think.

Hope that things will get better and that we can do what we need to do, that we will one day reach land once more after being in the water for so long

No matter what you go through in life or how deep you find yourself in the water always remember your legs, your arms and those three things.  Put those words on post-it notes if you have to, make sure they’re in your face and say them out loud.  All these things are air, they are like a oxygen mask that’ll help you breathe and float towards the top.

If all else fails just stop what you are doing, take a deep breath and float… before you know it you will have reached the surface and will feel the air hitting your lungs once again.

Breathe… Faith… Hope… Belief…

Don’t give up for you’re a better swimmer than you think…

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Sometimes all it takes is following the rules of Getting through the fog…

Accepting the skew picture frame

Oil Painting - 0201_450

Ever walked into a room and there up on the wall sits a photo or painting that is skew.  Does it drive you nuts or do you not care?

Don’t know about you but it drives me insane.  Perhaps this is just the Virgo in me coming out but I feel forced to correct it with haste.  That said I can’t always reach it without finding a ladder first, sometimes they are just too high up for my tallness.

Now lets say you didn’t correct it, you are aware of it and you have a whole bunch of friends over.  The whole time everyone is laughing and having fun you are slightly unsettled.  Your mind keeps drifting back to that skew picture up on the wall keeping you from enjoying the moment fully.  You laugh but it isn’t fully. You smile but it isn’t fully.  There is something else on your mind.

If you had accepted that the painting is skew and had peace with the fact that, no matter what, it will remain like that would you be able to enjoy the party more fully?  Would you be able to be fully “in the moment”?

(more…)

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