Being an Ordinary Superhero

It’s a hard life being a Superhero don’t you think? I mean you get up out of bed, put your special gear on, decide whether to put your underwear under your clothes or above, brush your sparklies in your mouth and hopefully your hairballs, don some funky kick ass shoes and start your day.

You either walk or jump in your car mobile that is painted in your superhero colour scheme and off you go to work or to school.  Once there you interact with a wide variety of people, some that require superhero levels of patience, some that need guidance from your wisdom bank and perhaps others that step on your newly polished shine in the dark feet.

You finish your day by another trip in the car mobile or leg mobile and head homeward.  Homeward you extract the Superhero “day clothes” and don the Superhero “Evening garb”, prepare some superhero food and perhaps enjoy some specially fermented grape juice.

Bed time arrives and you once again brush your sparkly whites, don another set of superhero bed clothes and head to dreamlands of your choosing.

The normal day by most standards, add in a few kids here and there for those Superhero’s who have reproduced or found themselves with sample superhero’s and voila you got your day.

What makes the ordinary Superhero a Superhero?

The stuff in between that is so natural as all of the other stuff that it doesn’t even feature in a mentionable, its ordinary and normal for them and more often than not goes unnoticed.

Walking outside ready for the day the Superhero see’s a hurt or sick animal and goes to it, tries to help it, feed it if it needs feeding and keeps it warm.  The Superhero tries to heal it if it can, it doesn’t really stop till it knows it can’t do anymore for the animal in its care.

On the walk to the office or school the Superhero see’s a child or person trip and fall down.  The Superhero doesn’t just walk past and act like he or she never saw it, they are the ones that stop and help them up, brush off their knees if the situation requires and makes sure that they are ok before continuing.

During the day they come into contact with someone that seems to be having a bad day, the Superhero stops what they are doing and tries to change that persons life just for a few moments by spreading a bit of light.  Sometimes the Superhero is successful, sometimes not, but he or she tries anyway in the hope that they will make a slight difference.

On the way back home the Superhero eats the sandwich he or she forgot to eat for lunch, as he or she walks down the road they see a poor person sitting on the side of the road eating out of a plastic bag that looks like its original destination was the garbage can they sit next to.  The Superhero bends down and gives the person the other half of his/her sandwich smiles and walks on smiling.

As the Superhero goes about his/her day they don’t really think about all their Superhero duties that they accomplished or did, they don’t think to tell the first person they meet or greet, they smile internally knowing that they tried to help another living thing and that is enough for them.

They are the ones that lie in bed at night thinking of ways to help more, they worry about the animals and if they are fine, they worry about the children and the other Superhero’s, they concoct ways to fix things and dream of a world that is different.

A Superhero is ordinary by all accounts, a human with faults and gifts, but a Superhero they are for sure.

Status friends and Gossiping Mothers

Some people are really funny, when they first meet me they are friendly as chocolate buttons on toast, all melted and soft … then they ask me what I do and I respond with the big red glow in the dark word… Nanny.

Shock horror run for the hills… their once friendly faces grow non committal, their body language changes to cold and within a minute of finding out what I do they excuse themselves and go chat with the other mothers every now and then looking over in my direction.  I absolutely love when this happens and tend to do this on purpose more and more.

Crazy?

True character shows when one gives another a socially diminutive job title.  Fact.  Those who don’t even blink when I utter the word “Nanny”, those who don’t change their body language or start giving me “that look” will see beyond any social status I give them and at least see a part of who I am not what I am.  Those are the people I don’t mind talking to or spending time with because ten to one they will have a depth that reaches further than the up turned noses of the others.

I suppose I could instead tell them that I am a co-owner of a up and coming graphic design company or that I have a famous movie star as a friend back in SA or even that I used to manage projects worth millions to make more friends… but would they be genuine ones?

To those who first meet me I am never who I seem or come across, I keep cards close to my chest and only unveil certain information as time progresses and I have had time to see the type of person you are.

Is this a trust issue? A personality fault? Manipulative?

I think not, instead it is more about who I want in my life and who I just don’t have time for anymore… kind of like Ambermoon’s thought of the day about being the finest cuisine… you don’t really want junk food on the same plate do you?

Self tanning for life

image Yesterday while out walking I caught a glimpse of my newly tanned legs sporting shorts that I haven’t fitted in to for years and was so chuffed with myself! I can’t tell you how exciting it was the fact that the mere sight of my bare skin didn’t cause my eyes to get glare cramp. Yip, you know the one where you look at something really bright and you quickly shut your eyes and rub them hoping for the pain to go away? That’s the one I normally get when I look at my skin, I tend to go a tad on the ghost look during winter. Not my fault, I blame my position in the queue on the way down to earth, that and my parents.  Look it’s like this ok, in the shower I wear sunglasses, honest, am not joking here!

So self tan really works for me, I get to cover over the glare while the real tan slowly seeps through becoming the real deal.  I don’t bother in winter no, what is the point? I am fully covered and sunglasses are kind of fun um yeah.  Moving along swiftly…

The truth about self tan though is that it wears off after a while with the ideal that when it does there would be hardly any difference in skin tone.  While you wear it you take the glare away and allow the sun to tone your skin colour with out the risk of lovely red peeling skin. 

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In the past I’ve used self tan on my soul as well, sometimes it is easier for me to fake it till I make it.  When something really traumatic or big goes down in my world I absorb the news and then continue as if nothing has happened.  No, it is not that I am blocking it merely putting on a front for the outside world while I process.

If the process takes longer because of the depth of the “trauma/pain/circumstance” then I just keep on reapplying the self tan until I feel ready to let my own skin show again.

For me, being able to fake it till I have finished processing, works and I don’t feel an ounce of guilt about it either.  Perhaps it does for you as well or perhaps you are one of types of people who have no need for it. Either way if you do it or not there is nothing to feel bad about.

Always remember that sometimes the self tan is just a thin layer, sometimes it is a number of layers, it all depends on the glare on the soul.  The brighter the glare the more self tan that is applied but the one thing that is certain through it all is that there will come a time when the faking it becomes making it, the fake tan fades and the real true colour shows once more.

Faking always fades, it never lasts, and our true souls come out to play once more… you just have to be willing to allow it to happen and in its own time.

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… Smile on …

Keeping your head above water…

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One day we wake up to find ourselves in the water without a lifeboat or buoy, nothing to help us float, we’re stuck with no way towards the land.

We slowly start treading the water, at first its easy, our legs keep us going, our arms move slowly in the water.  We stay a float, our heads are in the fresh air and things seem bearable.

Slowly we start to tire, our mental muscles start taking strain, our proverbial legs become exhausted and our arms numb.   Our bodies start to sink as if invisible hands have grabbed onto our ankles and pulling us under.  The deeper we are pulled the colder it gets, our spirits become dampened.

At first we fight, we summon up the last shred of energy to kick back towards the surface, we struggle with all our might against the invisible hands.  When we break the surface we gasp for air, pulling as much into our lungs as we call, we cough the water we swallowed out.  We continue to try with all our might to keep our heads in the fresh air.

As our mental muscles tire, as we fight to stay above water we start to feel something brush against our legs on and off.  Thoughts of “What was that??? Was it seaweed??? Was it a fish??? eel??? SHARK???” run through our minds only to realise that it was just another change in the current we find ourselves in.  We feel things in a heightened state, our senses feel things that are perceived but not necessarily real.

If our minds are too tired and our senses too heightened we run the risk of never realizing that it wasn’t a shark or even a fish, we believe, see, feel, perceive it to be full blown reality.  The risk of being in this state is that it pulls our focus off keeping our heads above the water, while fighting off the sharks and creatures brushing against our legs we don’t realise how far we have sunk into the darkness.  The deeper we sink the harder it is to get ourselves back towards the surface.

No matter how far down we go in the ocean of life we always have the “will” to survive, it is a natural instinct that each one of us carries deep inside of ourselves.  It lies there, sometimes almost dormant in its nature, but always present.  The “will” is a decision that each one of us makes every day, if we realise we have sunk deeper we need to use our legs, our arms, our everything to push ourselves back up towards the surface.  Our arms, our legs, they are our friends, our hobbies, our passions… sometimes our mental muscles get so numb that we forget that they are there waiting and willing.  Our helping hands.

Every single one of us, both you and I, carry faith, belief and hope.  These are human characteristic’s that we all have, it doesn’t matter whether you are an Atheist, Christian, Spiritualist or Buddhist.  It doesn’t matter what or who you are, where you are from, young or old, poor or rich, we all have them.

Faith that everything will work out, that our feet will touch solid ground one day soon

Belief that it all happens for a reason, that the world is just as it is and that everything is possible, belief in yourself, belief in hope, belief that the solid ground is closer than we think.

Hope that things will get better and that we can do what we need to do, that we will one day reach land once more after being in the water for so long

No matter what you go through in life or how deep you find yourself in the water always remember your legs, your arms and those three things.  Put those words on post-it notes if you have to, make sure they’re in your face and say them out loud.  All these things are air, they are like a oxygen mask that’ll help you breathe and float towards the top.

If all else fails just stop what you are doing, take a deep breath and float… before you know it you will have reached the surface and will feel the air hitting your lungs once again.

Breathe… Faith… Hope… Belief…

Don’t give up for you’re a better swimmer than you think…

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Sometimes all it takes is following the rules of Getting through the fog…

The Life of TIK

Jani just turned 43, she has 5 children and is the sole bread winner for her family.  Each day she goes to homes to clean in order to make enough money to feed her children and to put them through school.  Her eldest, Ami, was just 21 when a friend of hers uttered the words “Come on just one hit, feel what I feel, it will take all your worries away”.  She took the hit and her life will never be the same again.

She is now 24 married with a child but her story is far more dark than the surface belays.  Tik is the drug of choice in Cape Town and is gaining popularity country wide.  Made from a mix of over the counter drugs including normal sinus medication it is cheap and therefore more accessible to the general public, especially the poorer communities.

It grabs you and holds you captive much like Heroin, first hit and you are hooked, it brings you heaven and then hell.  It sucks your body dry and at the same time alters your personality so much that you lose hold of love or hope, emotions don’t exist further than your next hit. 

It took a weekend filled with Tik, rape, gang rape and more drugs for Ami to eventually crawl home to her more than distraught family and plead with them to help her.  She said she would go clean but knew she couldn’t do it alone, the pull was too strong, so she got her parents to book her into a facility.  Her parents took her in their arms and carried her to the rehab which cost R250. 3 days work for her mother, 3 days of food away from the other kids but they did it because they loved their daughter as if their own lives depended on it.  The family all started pulling together to the point that even the young ones tried to do extra odd jobs to bring in more money to help Ami.

Eventually after a lot of trauma Ami was released, she was stronger, brighter and she was clean.  Soon other families heard of her healing and sought her out to speak to their children, friends of friends spoke with her and heard her story.  Her story is unknown to many but it needs to be told for it holds so much hope, so much truth of the reality in Tik use and what it does not only to the user but the very people they love.

Her story needs to be told along with all other Tik survivors, the story must get out in order for it to help more people. Families who have been touched by Tik both in the present and past need to hear it. Users both present and past need to hear the story so that they can see that it is possible to come through the other side and breathe, that they do have a choice and that they can do it.

I spoke to Jani today and I told her this, I told her that her daughter is an inspiration, that she and her family are inspirations.  I then told her that there are so many out there with similar stories, if we could find them and get them to write down their stories perhaps they could save more lives.  So we agreed again.  She is now going to speak to the other families and the ex users and ask them if they would like to write about their experiences.  The ex users about their experiences, how they got started, what happened during using and how they got clean.  Their families about what it did to them, how they handled it, what they would’ve done differently and how it felt to have their family member back home.

This book will start out just being about Tik but I feel that it can also move into all drugs, stories of surviving and coming clean, experiences and the truth.

Ultimately about the truth, the whole truth and not the gloss.

I now open it up to you. If you have ever used Tik or any other drug, know of someone who might want to contribute, if you are a family member or friend of someone that is currently or has used in the past we would like to hear from you. If you are interested, want more information or would like to contribute your story you can send an email to sanityf@gmail.com and I will respond respectively.

With your help perhaps we can make a dent in this epidemic…

There is no going back

 

Anti Tik Campaign Short Advert

Unreported World: Lost Generation Pt 1 of 3

Unreported World: Lost Generation P2 of 3

Unreported World: Lost Generation Pt 3 of 3

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