A sad day for Africa?

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I wrote a post this morning which I have deleted, it has little relevance anymore.  The news is out now that Mbeki has been recalled as president of the country and Zuma is to take his place.  Zuma, the same man that can wash AIDS off and numerous other things.

Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

What the hell is going on, can someone please tell me? This is an honest straight forward question because I seriously feel like I have missed something major, it feels as though I have walked into a time warp.

Can a president just be taken off the post by the political party? I am so lost and one thing I do know is that Zuma as a president is all so very wrong.

Thanks

Catching the 8 legged, four eyed, big butted monster…!

Merrily walking into the bedroom setting up the laptop for some bedtime writing and there it sat with its four eyes and big butt, the monster.  As my eyes laid sight on it I could feel my palms begin to get clammy and my heart beat adopted a rhythm faster than a bad 90′s “rave” (don’t ask).

This is what befell me on this barmy eve, the monster with 8 legs and four eyes… I didn’t stop to count teeth and one big butt!

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There I stood frozen, survival instinct on hold as the realisation of the monster filtered through the brain waves.  The body started to react and I looked down at Sidka, perhaps he would be brave enough to bark the thing into thing air, disintegrate it for us like one bark boom bang kapoof all gone.  Notta chance, our eyes met and then we ran for it before the monster could get us!

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He’s a sweetheart but a wimp as I found out tonight, no spider catching for him uh huh nope. He went and hid under the Dinning room table and I headed to the garage for the screw shooter thing (power tool that shoots those things into the wall like a gun… you know… those things).  No sharp object shooter to be found I grabbed an old extra large mayo jar and ran bag, this time with an extendable broom in hand as well.

I would’ve thought the monster would be shaking in his hairy boots at the sight of me… nooooo… there it sat with its big butt and teeth, not a care in the world.  Popped a few herbal calmer’s (I don’t think you understand how scared I am of spiders) and then slowly extend the broom handle towards it.  Slowly, ever so slowly, I started poking the monster in its tummy.  At first it refused to budge, it just stared at me with its four eyes and a glint I swear was a dare…

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One last dash with the broom stick and whoooop it flew into the air and landed with a bang on the floor by the bed.  Sidka and I did the look thing again and out we ran.  *breathe* The monster was trying to hide.  I crept in while scaredy-cat-dog hid behind the door (I am not kidding), yip, the monster was hiding by the curtain.  A few more prods with the broom stick and the chase was on.  Shit, this thing should’ve been running for South Africa in the Olympics it was so fast.  Hah, you think I’m kidding, no, I’m not talking the long distance 10km jog here… no sireeeee, I’m talking 100m sprints with a bit of hurdles mixed in.

The hurdles were naturally my barefooted toes

*shivers*

The chase was starting to wear the monster out and finally I managed to confuse him with directions (must’ve been a male spider) and got him somehow to get into the jar.  He wasn’t too happy with me.

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Monster now in the jar, Whimpass and I took him into the kitchen and put him on the counter to have a little chat about espionage and the likely hood of his mates coming to find him.  He refused to communicate and went as far as to pull a few fingers at us. 

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I looked down at Sidka and we just knew, there was no getting nothink out this monster of ours.  Sidka then tried his squint eye look to frighten the monster.  That didn’t work either.

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Here’s a side profile of the jarred grotesque 8 legged, four eyed, big butted monster…

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We are now wondering, Sidka aka Whimpass and I, on how to get this here monster out of the jar extraditing it back into its own land.  What if it tries to fly back in through the door? What if it jumps at us? What if it finds its friends and comes back while we SLEEP???

So now he sits, this hairy monster of ours, in a mayonnaise jar

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… Tonight we sleep with one eye open, the Whimpass and me …

 

Self Defence and the cool habit gang

imageI am linking to these two posts again, if you have not read them yet then I  suggest that you do, politely of course.  Hayden’s Women Need Protecting and Joy’s post Safety tips for children.  Those posts really have me thinking and before they think I am link stalking let me explain.

There are some things we take for granted, personal safety and protection is definitely one of them.  Doesn’t matter if you are male or female we both do it.  Through the years we learn here and there, this one says we must do that if attacked in this way.  That one says we must rather do this … and so it goes on and on.  The hard truth is though that when you find yourself in that dangerous situation when you NEED to remember what to do, you don’t, you forget it all. Our minds can freeze not to mention our bodies.

Some say it is paranoia that makes a person learn these things, that makes a person train in self-protection.  To be honest, it is just plain stupidity not to.  So here are the tips that I have kept and have used, the ones that I think work well in any situation.

The Whistle

Out of all the tips I have been given I think the one that has stuck with me at all times is the whistle.  It is so small and light that you can keep it in your pocket, on a band around your arm, on a chain around your neck, anywhere you choose it can be, even in your sock (though that might be a bit uncomfortable).  The sound of a whistle also travels further than any human shout, it is piercing and loud.

If you are pulled into a strange car or someone is really hassling you in close range the piercing sound of the whistle will also startle the perpetrator giving you time to try and escape.  At the very least it will cause them to react via reflex and put their hands over their ears.  They aren’t prepared for the noise, you are.

I feel kids and especially women should have a whistle on them at all times.  Yes, I have a Spiderman one and I used to have the web launcher but that is another story for a different time and definitely not safety related.

Elbow

Not the band, though they are excellent, is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do.  Seriously, there is nothing worse than an elbow in the groin (my brother says this is fact) or stomach (he got me back).  Better yet is the throat, if you can reach aim there as the pain caused is far greater than the lower jewels.  I am talking both male and female here.

Robbers/Robbers

If a robber/mugger asks for your wallet/purse what ever you do DO NOT hand it to them.  Instead always toss it away from you… Chances are that they are more interested in your wallet/purse than you.  After tossing it away from you RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

If you want to practice try softball or throwing something in the garden.  Please note that should you live on third floor of building do not practice throwing something from your window.

Kidnapped

If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy.   The driver won’t see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

Please note that it is recommended that you remove your stiletto’s should you be wearing them (yes both boys and girls).

Getting into your car

These things should be habit.

1. Be aware: Look around you, Look into your car, At the passenger side floor and in the back seat.

2. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door.  I know you will look like an absolute monkey climbing over the passenger’s seat but this is your life we are talking about, besides it is time you come to realise you look like a monkey anyway.  Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

3. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.  You may feel like a paranoid fool doing this but it is your LIFE.

No I am not meaning to make you paranoid, believe it or not a lot of us do this without even thinking, it is second nature.

Parking lots

Why do you get into your car and sit there going through your slips or lists?

That is both one of the most popular and dangerous times for an attack.  Women especially are susceptible to this one due to them being “easy” targets.  Easy as in that is what they think, not necessarily so when you have a stiletto in your hand and aimed at the eyeball.

While you sit in your car doing what ever you do, just sitting there, the predator (not lion) will be watching you.  This is the perfect opportunity for them to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head and tell you where to go.

AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

Gun to your head

DO NOT DRIVE OFF

Repeat:

DO NOT DRIVE OFF!

Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car.   It is ONLY a car! Your Air Bag will save YOU.   If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it.  As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead

Gun pointing at you

If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control ALWAYS RUN!  The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times. Even then it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ.  RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!

If you must practice try doing this in the street with your arms in the air doing chicken movements.  If all else fails at least the locals will know not to mess with you.  You may even get gifts in the form of straight jackets!

Stairs

If you have a choice between an elevator and a flight of stairs choose the elevator without blinking an eyelid.  Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!

Just be careful, be alert and be safe

Create good habits that become second nature

No harm, no foul

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Do you see what I see?

Look at the below photo and tell me what you see, if you see anything disturbing in the below image. 

I ask because the below image has disturbed me beyond words and I am sickened to my stomach.

SMILE: Zimbabwe’s Robert Mugabe is seen at the opening ceremony of the SADC summit in Johannesburg. (Jerome Delay, AP)

Perhaps it is just me

100 Things Past, Present & Future

  1. I have sat with this Meme for a total of 96 days
  2. I am currently living in Cape Town, South Africa
  3. This is not my home, never was, never will be
  4. My first flight alone was at the age of 3
  5. My first flight as illegal pilot was at the age of 19
  6. I plan on flying out of RSA
  7. In order to get out I am selling all my furniture that is currently in storage. 
  8. If you are looking for a double bed, washing machine, wind machine (not the dog I promise) or other little things, let me know.
  9. Sorry this does not include the kitchen sink
  10. It does include my TV, Hi-fi and Microwave
  11. I do not ship these things internationally only my body.
  12. All practically unused
  13. Unused because I used to work 16 hours, play for 4 and then sleep for the other 4.
  14. Think what you will
  15. No my body is not for sale, possibly in the future.
  16. I have received 3 Marriage proposals in the last 12 months, I turned each one of them down due to the fact that I will not marry for a visa.
  17. People say I am crazy for turning them down
  18. I don’t care if they do, I quite like my insanity and I have just managed to break in the straight jacket.
  19. I am currently doing a 600 page website (don’t say it, don’t do it, I don’t want to hear it).
  20. Graphic design as well in order to make enough money
  21. With the money I make through the sale of everything and the site I plan on buying a ticket out of here
  22. I am shit scared because I have no where to go and I don’t know if I have enough to get anywhere but I am determined
  23. I am hoping that I can teach with my TEFL (I have no peach impeppermint I shwear)
  24. That was the 2nd glass of wine talking not me
  25. Imaginary 2nd, this house is alcohol free for me
  26. One sip and I am told that I am an alcoholic
  27. I come from alcoholic stock, one sip is an automatic branding
  28. I love fermented grape juice for its essential vitamins and minerals
  29. It is almost two months now that I think about it since I really smoked full on… *partay dance*
  30. I deny all cheats
  31. I love cookies, no one believes me that I can bake them… ok they are normally really crunchy and odd shades of black
  32. They are home made charcoal with which I draw
  33. Charcoal and ink are my favourite mediums in which to draw and paint though I never do. 
  34. Our secret, thanks
  35. I have been hired by a friend to do photography at her wedding.
  36. Payment is food apparently and I have never done a wedding before, I don’t mind I love food
  37. How this happened I have no clue. I believe her words were “SF your photos are sooo amazing please be our photographer”
  38. She’s cheap and she was lying, she knew she had me on food but had to seal deals.
  39. Its only 30 and I am craving a smoke huh where’d that come from!
  40. Oh, perhaps the number *shrug*
  41. At the age of 20 I smoked 60 a day, I claimed it to be because I only ever slept 3 hours
  42. I still only sleep between 3 and 5 hours every night
  43. My name means Nobel Strength, my second name means Nobel Grace, my surname means Barman or Innkeeper
  44. It is too poetic to translate for you the true meaning of all of that together.  Perhaps its only in my head.
  45. I am studying TEFL as a back up plan to help get my butt overseas
  46. The course finishes on 29 September
  47. I have lots more to study but can’t during the evening so I sit here like kwoneshe2 (hah soz just had to say it so don’t feel so alone!)
  48. I got sidetracked, country options, right…
  49. Britain doesn’t want me because I am South African
  50. They don’t like South Africans anymore because our Home Affairs department was caught selling passports to the Pakistani’s
  51. Europe, It is the same with those Europeans, South Africans are now the devils spawn, forget Microsoft, we’re bad news
  52. South America, I don’t need a visa there, how cool is that! My Portuguese and Spanish though are absolutely shocking
  53. I can swear like a true Italian though
  54. That doesn’t count though
  55. I can swear in Italian, Afrikaans, Hindi, Swahili, German and Arabic
  56. I deny the ability to do so in French
  57. I very rarely swear in English when spoken
  58. I can imitate accents really well
  59. I do this without thinking
  60. If I talk to you and you talk differently I chameleon you, always have done
  61. Jokes aside I plan on making tracks a year to date since my last move went down
  62. October 2008 if not sooner.
  63. I have made a few very important decisions in the last year
  64. I will never again give up my independence to make another person happy
  65. I will never allow someone to guilt trip me into doing something either
  66. I will continue to speak up when I see injustice happen no matter what the consequences are, wrong is wrong.
  67. I will not baby those in my life who get jealous or show envy, if you are jealous of me deal with it and don’t make your problems mine, I am tired of hiding or changing my ways so that others aren’t “offended”
  68. Got sidetracked again
  69. I don’t have ADD but I can add though I love irritating 6 year olds with “2+2=5″
  70. They laugh at me saying that I am a dumb old person and there is no ways I can be an adult if I get THAT wrong
  71. I agree with them and get extra piece of cake because I am a giant kid
  72. Ok not that giant
  73. Back on track
  74. Another option is the USA although their entrance requirements are scary
  75. Again South Africans are now classed as dodgy
  76. Now… what am I talking about, 2 months ago they removed Nelson Mandela from their terrorist watch list
  77. The world doesn’t want me but I want the world
  78. I can’t meditate while dogs fart
  79. I have a younger brother
  80. An older brother
  81. Older sister
  82. I doubt any of them know that I used to look like a man from training 5 hours a day in a swimming pool as well as on a hockey field
  83. I looked like a MAN
  84. I was on a carb diet that killed my desire for carbs
  85. I adore jackets and have many
  86. Potatoes in jackets as well – long as they are washed first
  87. I am thinking of selling a few of them, they are limited editions see
  88. I love boots, high boots.
  89. I own a pair of boots that were made before I was born
  90. I ALWAYS put the sugar into the cup first
  91. I ALWAYS put the milk in second
  92. Then the instant coffee (when being lazy/not allowed near machine/too dangerarse)
  93. The water normally always goes either on my toes first or when I remember to stand back from the counter, the floor.
  94. There are some people in my life that, if given the choice to live my life over again and told that I had to go through each moment again in order to meet them, I would in a heart beat.
  95. I hate learning from a book, I prefer learning from others and from random knowledge, my best course so far has been life.
  96. I adore Winnie the Pooh because he has more wisdom than people give him credit for
  97. He is yellow and people still love him
  98. He is clumsy and people still love him
  99. He is chubby and people still love him
  100. If you got to this point it is you that needs the straightjacket, please take a number and the dealers will be with you shortly for a fitting and colour choice.
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