Friday funnies: Smart kid

imageA first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher  asked, “Harry what is your problem?” Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!”

The teacher had had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. The teacher agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”

Harry: “9″.

Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”

Harry: “36″.

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, “I think Harry can go to the third-grade.”

The teacher says to the principal, “Let me ask him some questions?”

The principal and Harry both agree.

The teacher asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?”

Harry, after a moment, “Legs.”

Teacher: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?” The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!

Harry replied, “Pockets.”

Teacher: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”

Harry: “Pants”

Teacher: What’s starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Harry: Coconut

The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry was taking charge.

Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?

Harry: Bubblegum

Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?

The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.

Harry: Shake hands

Teacher: Now I will ask some “Who am I” sort of questions, okay?

Harry: Yep.

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

Harry: Tent

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first.

Principal was looking restless and bit tense.

Harry: Wedding Ring

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

Harry: Nose

Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Harry: Arrow

Teacher: What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of excitement?

Harry: Firetruck

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, “Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I missed the last ten questions myself.”

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Other Friday Funnies:

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Joy with Exercise…

 

Amber with Friday Funnies – LOL Cats… and True statements why women are superior…

 

Don’stuff with The New One Dollar Bill

 

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Weekly Fruit Salad ~ מספר עשרים ואחת

image Hebrew for the number 21 and what a week it has been.  Things are  hottening up and then quietening down some, most are now feeling the wonders of stupid world recession… you know I was wondering, if things got really really bad do you think that the shops will accept my monopoly money? I then have British Pounds at R22 (1 pound buys you 2 pints), the American Dollar at R12 (1 dollar buys you 1 really fancy coffee with no pattern on but you do get a small slice of shortcake) and the Euro at R16 (1 euro will buy you a huge piece of cheesecake to die for without fancy decorated plate).

I am soooo RICH in monopoly money, how bout you? Ah the week really has been an interesting one.  No, I repeat no, this will not become a “Domestic Issue”

Stressful times bring out the The Shadow of Human Nature, Grief, we forget The Nature of Genius and start to believe that it Will last forever… We forget The small things and go blind to the Lovely things in life.

Instead, when things are rough put those Phobia‘s in the closet and find a Pantyhose Quiz or better yet experience a few moments totally Out of Focus and if ALL else fails? Breathe through it.. Yeah I bet you all missed your chance to Boost Your Karma with the International Blogosphere Hug Day, it’s ok but don’t for one split-haired second think you’re getting out of it next year!

To Be or Not to Be a Hero, now that is the question or is it? What if you have everyday hero’s that go unnoticed because it’s not “saving a man in fire”.  Everyday hero’s tend to appreciate life more, they see the Metaphors

Another kind of growth? Sorry that line just got me thinking to the other evolution glitch in the earthatrix… leg hair, how come that hasn’t evolved into extinction yet? Hmm ok ok perhaps I just need to hire a Life Coach who is experienced in business and life or have a star realisation moment!

Summer has finally hit SA (No there is not a problem with my Perception, Perspective and interpretation…) Now should you feel yourself going slightly green at my big red tomato look best go read “How to Overcome Jealousy” It might help you over come it… well you never know.  Pure sunshine, a slight breeze and the birds chirping outside my window at the crack of doom.  I actually dreamt last night (or rather as I was waking up) of shooting them off the telephone wire with a sling shot Caty!

OK I will leave you all with two last thoughts.  I would put a Hindu greeting here but Deeps has told me that I swear in hindu (yeah all I was trying to do was be nice to her) so I shall just stick with “Happy Diwali

Thanks for a fantabulous week, many fruits, loops and loony tunes had by all! Bring back the banter, let the laughter fall…

PS Fitch no more holidays for a while you were missed gf!

Household Tip of the week:

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Weekly Fruit Salad ~ Number 20

imageYeah yeah I know it’s in English but thought it kind of special what with it  being a whole 20 salads consumed and no one has food poisoning yet! Phew! It’s been quite a week so grizzly bear with me here and hopefully it will be as exciting as the Dallas Gay Pride Parade.  Hats off to Nathalie with an H, have you seen this woman’s photos? Ah you have not lived till you have sampled the eye candy she has on her blog!

Definitions Making A Difference is sometimes a bit like trying to define the Cookie Monster Slayer, it changes as does the weather, each person is different, each need evolves… how we can make a difference in reality depends on the web of life we find ourselves in.  Complex simplicity if you will is the nature of the day, Deal or No Deal it’s ultimately how you choose.

Just because sometimes Hardened battle soldiers find it tough to be civilians it doesn’t mean that they don’t deserve Comfort, encouragement and many hugs.  No I am not talking about the Kumbaya warning lamp but rather why it doesn’t go off on “UBUNTU”.  Suppose some might be getting sick of that word but its around for good, it’s centuries old and flows through our veins.  Ubuntu – nobody is ever outside, it’s not a cult or some wayward religion, it just is, a way of life, a way of person.  I am nothing without you.

Good, Bad – Who Knows… either way we all know a Bum In The Alley.  Perhaps its about False economies – working smarter not harder, perhaps its all about Staying Present in the moment or just Sharing what you have with others.  It’s been a rough time for so many, financial crisis, politics coming out of the toilet water and little Wanted and Worth $3.50 adverts.

Don’t Shy away from The good old days because the Chickens always Come Home To Roost in the end.  Go revisit that Souf Efrikan foto elbum or better yet remember Something about the Wedding, any wedding (all my experiences have been um strange… normally me hiding from the bouquet throwing ceremony!)

For us all it must be Love First

Breathe deeply and smile to a New Day

Weekly Fruit Salad ~ Numero ng labinsiyam

Filipino is the language for the week, nineteen is the number for the week… I refuse to actually believe it has been that long so have reverted to living in denial!  First up huge HUGE (bigger text huge) apologies, I have been slacking but I think it was the proteins or perhaps the Ebola virus attacking the fruit… yip def an Ebola or at the very least aerosolitusgravitarse virus (new breed just off the shelf).

imageThe Ubuntu Frosting ~ by Amber

This week, I am thrilled to offer an international blogger the opportunity to join our Ubuntu team and share our Ubuntu badge.  Robert from In Search of Meaning is filled with the spirit of Ubuntu not only on his blog, but in his real life.  He’s a mentor, teacher, therapist, and friend.  His often witty comments leave his readers with a smile.

Congratulations Robert.  Thank you for all of your wonderful blog posts about life and thoughts, and about reminding us about the little things people seem to take for granted in this world.

You can see some of Robert’s posts at:

SurfaceEarth wrote their post on what Ubuntu means to them, to have a read head over to  Ubuntu, in a can, if you will and Moments of Ubuntu

Vanessa has done an awesome profile series on a few of the Ubuntu tribe so far – if you want the low down head over to her blog VanessaLeigh

imageAmber

 The Fruits

So how do you know you are a fan of a show? Ok, lets just say Oprah? Let me put it to you this way.  I call a friend say because I broke a toe nail and need to go to hospital and then I get told “I’m Sorry, I Can’t Take Your Call Right Now… Oprah is busy with her random act of kindness and just GAVE everyone EVERYONE in the audience a BRAND NEW CAR”.  Let me just say that I’m so “over” Oprah Winfrey…

I know can you believe it!  One thing is for sure (well I think it is) is that Dude and Holeycheese did not meet on the set.  The true relief comes when you realise that the CNN Pundits Don’t Know Who You Are (fact). Anything But Fiction becomes reality and soon we find ourselves trying to attain the answer to life?

Habits are interesting creatures, I personally try and avoid them like the dear Sasquatch Man. Ok suppose The truth of the matter is that It is easier just to procrastinate and go “bad habit? me? BAD HABIT? phah” but sometimes we can’t avoid it, sometimes it returns and bites us on the hand (I’m being polite!).

Looking BACK, moving FORWARD in the Absence of Confidence can be one of the scariest things one can experience.  Taking things for granted becomes a thing of the past and our mantra morphs into “Harden the F Up” … no this is not The story of a Souf Efrikan journey… even though Souf Efrikan woman are tough… (so tough most people turn into “Sleepless in Souf Efrika” when they are around)!

To some it is a Message to America, to others It’s all about Zimbabwe but the truth in the Genius of Awareness is our chance to make things right in the world.  Much like Using Politics for Personal Development.

Everything has a “cost” and as we all know nothing in life is for free much like A Spiritual Riddle – We can quench your thirst completely only to have our breath taken away! 

There is always ying and yang in life, the depth of the yang can often be put into balance by the ying and visa versa.  What comes around goes around, if you put out good you get good back…

Sorry for the lateness of this Salad, it couldn’t be helped.  I have stuck with the new format and admittedly have relied heavily on shared posts.  Apologies for not getting to all of yours just yet but from tomorrow I have the feeling things will start looking up… if all else fails I’ll slip mother a sleeping pill in her yummy tea I make and put her to bed real REAL early so that I too can get my share of vitamins.

* I blame the fact that there is a political element in this salad on the incredibleness of Hayden’s post, awesome piece on Zim by that Dude and AngryAfrican’s note to Americans… blame them not me *shrug*

** If there are any spellers let me know, my brain is in speed mode and does not compute in normal captonian (chilled) fashion

Weekly Fruit Salad ~ संख्या अठारह

That folks is Hindi, fancy writing that looks like a pretty picture of sorts but stands for Number Eighteen.  Eighteen weeks of fruity bits and pieces and now a new format, fewer links, more sanity, even more insanity and a few sprinkles. 

How are posts selected?  Through out the week I read about 50 blogs (I’ve trimmed) through Google reader.  Every time I come across a blog post that is incredible I star it and when übber “blow me away” material I click share.  At the moment I have 5 other people who use Google reader sharing posts that they feel are worthy and incredible.

What’s incredible?  Content, thoughts, out of the box thinking, funny, out of the ordinary and just “wow” material

Want to get on the reader sharing? Send me an email sanityf@gmail.com and I’ll send you my username for sharing.  The more the merrier, there are so many blogs, so many posts, not all of us read the same people so it makes it interesting.  If you don’t use Google Reader but want to know more about it send me a mail as well and I’ll walk you through.

Is there a limit to the number of links? I now have a limit of 25 and for when I break the rules 30.  So that means max 30 of the top posts for the week. This does not mean that any of the other posts aren’t just as good, it just means that the process is more selective. If you don’t appear in this weeks salad it is not to say you will not be in next weeks, etc.

What won’t make it in to the Salad? Politics and aggressive posts, this is not because it has become “New Age” but rather because those are generally negative and attacking someone.

imageThe Ubuntu Frosting ~ by Amber 

I have been asked as the sort of spokesperson of our little Ubuntu group of ragtag players to talk a little bit about Ubuntu and what we hope to accomplish.  Each of us writes Ubuntu posts as we feel the movement in our lives and on our blogs to share its spirit with all of you.  I recently wrote A Guide to Ubuntu so that people could understand it a little more easily should you would like to learn more about it.  We seek to spread this small word that holds big feelings throughout the world.  One blog at a time.  Its simply “I am because you are”.

We all need a breath of fresh air don’t we?  Need to breathe it into our lungs and enjoy its life giving force just a bit more?  This week our air is brought to us by a special blog which has been chosen by our team to receive the Ubuntu badge for its posts towards humanity, and the spirit of Ubuntu which we all share.  Posts like The Web of Compassion ,Hello? Is this 2008? Are we “human”? Stop Florida from committing transgression, and Open letter to God.

We would like to extend our congratulations to Surface Earth.  Thank you for your beautiful words and spirit.  You will be a fine addition to our Ubuntu team.  With this nomination you can choose or not to post our Ubuntu badge on your blog, but we do ask that you post a blog post article about what Ubuntu means to you in return.

Have a good week Everyone!  Amber

image Crunchy apples

This week has truly been incredible, it has been about compassion, people who want to be Souf Efrikan, love and kids. Yes that is Souf Efrikan pronounced Sooo-ff Eff-rick-ken and no that is not a swear word either.  So far there have been two who stepped up to this all time “honourary” (not coronary) status Skuttlevis(fish) and Antie Lisbet.  If you want to join the other Souf Efrikan’s then contact The Man with fast legs. By the way, while we are on the topic, should you ever get confused by my computer terms there is always an explanation ready

imageTasty Strawberries (with chocolate)

Communication is always key isn’t it? So often we can misunderstand someone and through doing so get hurt or worse unjustifiably angry.  Handwritten letters with the personal touch or friendships that form life long relationshipsLittle hands holding within their grasp Forgiveness, Compassion, Empathy… humanity, we can learn a lot from children if we stopped to look into their eyes and see what they see.  Sometimes all it takes is taking the time to stand in the others shoes and try to understand.

image A sticky healthy orange

 

Looking through the Johari Window into The night sky things can come flooding back.  One tends to remember Walking In Sunshine, Through the Rain, picking Flower’s along The Yellow Brick Road you tend to slowly gain back your self-esteem and just Be. Where ever we go we Plant the seed, grow a garden… run as far as you can but you can never hide but Living Your Dreams you must do.

image A bunch of grapes

Heroin Charly making you wonder if your Contract is still good, you wonder where Grace has gone while checking if you are Still BreathingBringing hope back is a continual process.  Personally I feel that all Dead Beat Dads need to all take a page from the book on How to Not Abuse Your ChildrenGive us back some heavy duty maturity rituals perhaps? A simple rhyme about humanity all the while figuring out What makes us special.

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Yip, it has been quite the week! Thank you all for each and every single post you wrote, it not only brought a smile to my face but to many.  You got our brains ticking over, inspired, gave us wisdom and many (gazillion) laughs!  Awesome week!

 

As always suggestions and thoughts are welcome.  If you know how to get thorn splinters out of a very hair covered head pleas also let me know… just found my 7th… without needles!

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