Life suckers

Oh the rhymes you can get just from that word alone… admit it and say it out loud… go on dare ya!

Life suckers that gain glee from finding a fresh piece of juicy meat to gnaw their mangy blunt teeth on.  You know the type, the ones that latch on and suck you dry of all you have replacing your positivity with negativity, inch by inch you become a prune of what you used to be.

Wrinkles covering our faces are nothing like the ones inside, being sucked dry from inside out leaves deeper grooves than could ever be seen upon your external skin and the damage far deeper.  Depending on how long the sucker has been leeached onto you, your body will start immitating the state of your soul.  Your walk will change and become sluggish, your feet not quite lifting off the street as you walk, your head is heavier and leans more forward than straight upwards, instead of facing the world your eyes fall to the fall.

Life suckers are killers, there is no pretty way of putting it and point blank they don’t deserve the meat they are sucking on, you.

Symptoms of the Life Sucker virus:

Guilt trips for simple things, this may include things such as not wanting to do something that the other wants to do in the form of “Fine, sure, I’ll go alone” or “Well I won’t eat alone so I’ll just skip”.  The list for this one is long and varied, take your pick and add it to the list.

You discuss something exciting, either an idea or something you want to do, with them and they turn around and give you a negative either about why you can’t do it or point blank why it won’t work without stopping to hear you out.

They criticize you in anything you do, nothing that you do seems to meet the grade even though they miss the boat more often than not

You greet them with happiness and they respond with negatives either about you or themselves

They expect you to fix their lives instantly and when you do something to help them they turn round and spit in your face

You listen to them for hours and they ask your advice only to turn round and do the opposite or better yet ignore everything only to come back to you soon after to talk about it all over again.

They treat you well to your face and then when you turn your back you find that others come to you telling you things about yourself you didn’t even know

Place more here…

The list is long, perhaps you recognise a life sucker in your life and can think of more examples.  If you’re willing to share lets hear them, the more comprehensive list of symptoms we can get the better equipped we will all be in extracting this killer virus, sometimes hidden by smiles, from our lives once and for all.

The thing is, once you realise you have a life sucker in your life extracting those mangy blunt teeth is not as easy as appearances belie.   Sometimes those teeth belong to family members, life long friends or even people we can’t easily remove from our lives such

as work colleagues and the likes there of.

The only cure is the realisation of what they are, once you’ve come to this realisation that they are Life Suckers you will start noticing all the things that they do to you, the things that drain you of your spirit, your energy, positivity and happiness.  Once you start noticing all the little things they slowly start building up to the point that you have enough resistance to their venom and become strong enough to say “Enough is enough” or better yet “I am worth more than this, I want my energy and life force back, fuck off”

Yeah I swore, no pretty way of saying it like I said.  Ok so perhaps not in those exact words but you get the point, perhaps you can soften it up by telling them to go find someone else to suck dry because you’re done or tell them that they need to find happiness within themselves because living and laughing for two doesn’t quite work.

Killers these Life Suckers are, don’t let them suck you dry because one day you’ll wake up and you will be the very thing that sucked you dry.

Scary shit

Swore again but how else do you say it with the same emphasis?

Take back your life, it’s time…

The myth of the Snake Whisperer

image

They won’t always be like that

They will change

I know they will

They’ve had a hard life, you can’t blame them

They are suffering

I know that it won’t be long before they snap out of it

Soon

I just know it

It’s only a phase

They love me I know they do, deep down they do

They will change

Bullshit

They’re never going to change, sure there are reasons for them being the way they are BUT is it really making them the way they are.  It is only not a choice when someone is psychologically ill.

The truth is only the snake can stop being a snake, only they can decide to get help or to change their ways, only they can, not you nor I can do it for them.  There is no such thing as a Snake Whisperer, there never was, there never will be.

We go for years trying to “fix” the other person to the point that it can become an obsession.  Just one more chance, one more try, they’ll come around… they never do.

What if instead of helping them slay their demons we are feeding them with our “what if’s” and “one day soon’s”.

It doesn’t matter who they are, husband, your wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, mother, father, sibling… a snake is a snake.

Problem comes in with the fact that you can’t divorce your parents nor your siblings.  Sure you can “leave” them, stop all communication, etc but the need is greater.  The need to have that “family” love, sometimes that need can be so strong that we forget common sense all together, we dress the snake up in sheep’s wool.

Slay or feed?

From experience, without realising it I have been feeding a snake, a very big snake, in my life.  All the “wants” I have succumbed to and I am not proud of the fact either.

What makes the snake in my life so sick?

  • The need to control due to the fact that in their own “lives” they have none. These instances can be subtle ladled with guilt and oozing possession.
  • Low self-esteem causing them to belittle the other in public and in private to the point of ridiculous.  This can also cause them to belittle any achievement and to enhance all failures, once again both in public and private.
  • Pity, making statements to evoke pity and attention thereby putting their hope of ever attaining happiness in your hands.  I can’t think of the correct term for this.
  • Low self-image.  That is workable on its own but when the person can not admit to failure within themselves or their actions it can get to narcissistic levels.  Others then get the blame.

That is all sugar coated “with words” emotional abuse that can make a person so scared to put a toe out of line that they become quivering wrecks.  Second guessing becomes second nature if not first, low self-esteem becomes contagious and soon you end up being just a shell at their beck and call.

Snakes come in many different shapes and sizes…

My snake is trying to get better, they asked for forgiveness, they show remorse and an inkling of understanding regarding their actions. <– Who am I kidding?

I’ve held on to the belief that my snake would change because I have craved that “love”.  I have held on to the idea that it is not only possible it is also attainable and because of that I have forgiven each trespass and accepted it as if it were fate and truth.

Thrive

Feed

Whither

Die

They suck you dry.

We all get to a point where our hopes and dreams of people becoming who we hoped they would be die a withering death.

My snake is who they are, they will never change, they will always be the same.

They will always be that way until they choose to change, until they choose to get help, until they realise just what they are doing to those that love them.

My snake realised once

My snake never really changed

How is yours? Any change?

It is good to mourn the loss of an ideal that will never actualise.  I mourn the loss but I now accept the snake for what it is…

We all want to be loved, we all have that basic need … sometimes that need is so strong we forget to love ourselves.

A hard life doesn’t give you the right to be a bitch/bastard

A snake is a snake, sheep’s wool always falls off

I’m done trying to whisper to snakes, their fangs never become blunt just sharper.

Weekly Fruit Salad 08

I am actually starting to think that perhaps it is better not to number any of these weekly update thingies that I call Fruit Salads. I mean each week that goes past that I add a number to is in effect dating myself. Age has suddenly become a bit of an issue, well only slight. Perhaps it is because I am soon to be turning a year older? Don’t know but don’t ask ok.

Why am I here? No funny yarns, go have a read here and you will know exactly why I am here not there, why it is that I blog… the why’s have been answered in full

This week instead of keeping my pants up I have been travelling to distant lands in my head transported with words and photos of glorious places and history. Join me in my heaven and have a read through Ilegirl’s recount of her trip to Europe (yeah ok I’m still jealous!): 2 July, 3 July, 4 July, 5 July, 6 July, 7 July, 8 July… to be continued… please (pretty please) Why Travel?

Ah her travels bring it all back to me, I remember things as I read through each post that goes before my eyes like a distant dream only to go “Ah back in the day“. Yeah I am that old! Time time time that word scares me recently, like I said just a moment ago… don’t ask! We take time for granted, we don’t remember that it is more how we soar than quack that counts. Sometimes I guess we just forget to live, we forget to experience each and everything fully, our senses are almost dulled by the same old familiar tune. Kick the butt into action and get a haircut, eat a lollipop and really savour the fizzy stuff in the middle, steal a flower from your neighbours garden… desire and live! Cut the snakes , live and be true!

Now there is one thing that I really can’t stand in life and that is when you are just starting to formulate your dream and an Asshat comes along and literally tries their level best to destroy the positive energy. Every time that happens it makes me want to go insane on their asses and tell them a little bit about counting their blessings and not polluting the universe with their lack of respect. Hmm perhaps they just wrote the book of Ignorance?

Through those rainy patches in our lives we get to realise our own identities but the one thing we mustn’t forget is the fact that it takes courage to be who we really are. It is far easier to morph into what society believes we should be than to just be ourselves.

Perhaps (I love that word) everyone is getting some or rather perhaps no one is? I don’t know and I am not going to answer that one either. Sex is the big topic of the week for sure from sleeping in the nude (which is sexy) to confusion within the relationship and the biggest sex organ… yip it gets even more interesting when you add this to the mix. Ok well don’t go all monster on me ok, I’m in Africa and poor.

I really should study some more but alas I am sitting here hmm. I wish we were born with unlimited knowledge but it isn’t the all powerful that we sometimes believe it to be. Our intellect will only get us so far, maybe we just need to be a different kind of student?

Guess there is a lot I’ve come to realise along with Amber, Glaize, Kwoneshe2 and soon to be YOU! (Yeah lazy tagging again I blame it on time wasting admiring Star Wars Art for I don’t watch TV though I hear that True Blood is good *shrug*)

To DM’s kids Angie, Katie, Rebekah and John… you have a dad we dream of having, hold on to him tight ok!

I’m off to go make a few phone calls on my new top of the range phone … ooo … it’s going to make so many jealous I just can’t wait to see their faces!!!

To all of you stuck in places of danger, extreme danger and craziness, be safe and hang in there!

Thanks again to everyone who writes anything, you carry us through, make us laugh, cry and just plain keep us sane!

May the words flow, my the sunlight shine

Dang … may I stop this addiction to cookies!

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 35 other followers

%d bloggers like this: