The multi-talented “Sorry”

When you put the word sorry into dictionary.com you get the following information, it is a word with so many connotations, meanings and the psychology surrounding it overwhelming in it’s entirety. Have a look… bear with me there is a purpose here…

sor·ry [sor-ee, sawr-ee] Pronunciation KeyShow IPA Pronunciation –adjective, -ri·er, -ri·est.

1.  feeling regret, compunction, sympathy, pity, etc.: to be sorry to leave one’s friends; to be sorry for a remark; to be sorry for someone in trouble.

2.  regrettable or deplorable; unfortunate; tragic: a sorry situation; to come to a sorry end.

3.  sorrowful, grieved, or sad: Was she sorry when her brother died?

4.  associated with sorrow; suggestive of grief or suffering; melancholy; dismal.

5.  wretched, poor, useless, or pitiful: a sorry horse.

6.  (used interjectionally as a conventional apology or expression of regret): Sorry, you’re misinformed. Did I bump you? Sorry.

Now for the more interesting definitions from http://www.thesaurus.com … as I said… bare with me…

Main Entry: sorry

Part of Speech: adjective 1

Definition: remorseful

Synonyms: apologetic, attritional, compunctious, conscience-stricken, contrite, guilt-ridden, melted, penitent, penitential,regretful, repentant, self-accusing, self-condemnatory, self-reproachful, shamefaced, softened, touched

Antonyms: unrepentant

The words repentant, self-accusing, self-condemnatory, self-reproachful and shamefaced are the ones that struck me the most as the true intention and meaning behind that word uttered so many times by so many of us. You ask why I am I bringing up this silly point…? Well it is the word that I utter to people I care about and love on a daily basis, it is also the word that drives those very people I am trying to ask forgiveness of totally and utterly mad.

The true meaning when uttered by some of us is not necessarily “sorry” but rather please don’t leave me, please don’t hurt me, please don’t think I am mad, please don’t say anything bad about me. This is where those beautiful synonyms come in… during our lives, growing up around bully’s, having abusive relationships with those that we love and role models that destroy our trust make us in our latter years (and even in the younger ones) fearful of having that same pain and torment put upon us again bringing us to use that word more and more.

We, who say the word sorry as we do every other normal word on a daily basis, use the word for the things that don’t require forgiveness, for silly things like dropping a fork, for giving our opinion even when asked, for doing something right, yes you are getting the point, we do it for everything!

This word is eventually uttered without us even being aware that we are doing it, it becomes such a bad habit that it is like biting our nails… we do it without thinking about it. What we don’t realise is that those who really love us don’t require or need us to say it as often that we do and that if we aren’t careful we will end up making those that we cherish and fear rejection from will eventually believe it is them that is causing us pain when it is not the case.

As you can see the psychology behind this word is immense and kind of overwhelming… I’m only touching on it for many reasons. All I can say is that I myself have this bad habit along with all the others, it is also one I need to break… how about you?

… just another rambling by a wondering soul…

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