Ok so things have now come down to the point where by I am going to place a personal ad on a mail order husband site. They’ve asked me to write a bit about myself, so this is what I’ve got so far… see what you think …
Looking For: Male to form marriage of convenience. Must be willing to share first world passport.
Morning Profile: At the best of times she is not known to be the sweetest in the morning and is often is found sporting the “Just woke up” look (please see photo of her on right)
Warning: Should you approach her in the mornings before her first cup of coffee, the chances are quite high that you would get to witness the photo on the left. She can’t be held to blame for this as warning signs are generally printed out and posted on all available walls at eye level. Should you encounter such an act it is best to copy her actions, by doing this, you will reduce her to laughter faster than you can blink your eyelids.
Likes: She is fascinated with everything she sees generally with childish delight. She often sports the look of absolute wonderment and surprise accompanied with glee of great proportions (as seen on right). This look normally takes place after her first coffee, never before.
This woman is anything but normal, she knows the difference between a 2-stroke and a 4-stroke, is a gadget freak and loves technology of any kind. There will never be a boring conversation between the two of you for her love of technology is beyond that of a normal obsession. You might find, however, that reminding her to switch off her mobile late at night is recommended due to the midnight support calls she often receives.
If music is your thing then you will be well matched with this one. She is often spotted with air guitar in hand playing the riffs of Robert Plant or the Stones. Her broad taste in music though can be shocking at times to the point of scary. Don’t be surprised with the fact that she knows all the words to an Eminem song. The photo on the left is from the time she was at the Muse after party. She was seen stealing Matthew Ballamy’s (lead singer) guitar to enact her very practiced air guitar sequence. The standing ovation came from 3 security guards.
Above all else she adores hugs, she is not rude to any particular species, she hugs them all. On the right she can be seen with her friend Bongo-Buck. This photo was taken when they went out to the park for a few bana-cola-daz. Please note that SanityFound does not drink and drive, not only for the fact that she drove over her drivers license tester but also for the fact that generally she passes out in the park.
Sports: Her many attributes though are not limited to technology, bana-cola-daz and morning wisdom. She is well known for trying out new sports, one being skateboarding. The photo on the left is blurred for the fact that she beat her all time record in both speed and the length of time she managed to stay on, a total of 2 minutes at 20km/hr.
Not only has she mastered the art of dismounting a skateboard at high speeds she has also managed to hit herself in the head instead of the ball while out playing golf. She blames this on the shorts she was wearing, they did not have them in pink and felt rather manly wielding the big stick that was almost the size of her.
Looks & Poses: SanityFound can straighten up for any occasion, she has been seen at many different functions and is well versed in which fork to use first. Her skills with make up are well known to be that of interesting and her range of colours (as seen on the left) are most fetching with her unique sense of colour.
Her most common pose is that of the photo on the right. She can often be seen covering her eyes either in disbelief at a joke being enacted or for the fact that she has done something silly again. She is well known not be in fully functioning working order early in the morning. This look is often accompanied with the realisation of what has just taken place, followed by hysterical laughter.
Last photo taken of her: Studio shoot – May 2008 (left).
In all honesty she is not that good at karate, it is more the look on her face that makes the baddies run away (please see photo on left, the baddie was so scared he acted like spiderman!)
Notes: Please note that she is still learning to blow dry her hair and slight accidents do happen especially if she tries first thing in the morning. Should you see her look like the photo on the right, please excuse it as another failed attempt!
Should you be interest in this very lucrative offer please contact email@example.com as soon as possible.
… You know you can’t resist this …
* This is a spam test to see how many people really look for male order husbands (pun intended)