Insult 101


When you are stuck for a really good insult have a go at a few of these…

  • Hey, what are you going to do for a face when the baboon wants its ass back! …
  • Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mom. …
  • Pardon me, but you’ve obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.
  • Sure, I’ve seen people like you before – but I had to pay an admission…
  • Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?
  • You’re red shirt goes well with your eyes…
    Shouldn’t you have a license for being that ugly?
  • Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
  • Folk clap when they see you…but they clap their hands over their eyes.
  • Do you know how to keep an idiot in suspense? I’ll let you know tomorrow. …
  • Your so dumb, you climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side. …
  • All day I thought of you….I was at the zoo.
  • You should learn from your parents mistakes – try using some birth control.
  • Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.
  • If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn’t say Hi to folk, I’d say BOO!
  • You’ve got the perfect weapon against muggers – yer face.
  • I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.
  • Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?
  • Sure, I’d love to help you out…now, which way did you come in?
  • Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn’t have given you worse advice…
  • I heard you were so cool that you began teaching remedial classes at Cucumber college.
  • Well, they do say opposites attract… so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.
  • I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?
  • Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable…like a coma.
  • I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of shock.
  • I know what sign you were born under…’RED LIGHT DISTRICT’
  • Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!
  • Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn’t have given you worse advice.
  • As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
  • Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.
  • Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you’d had enough oxygen at birth?
  • Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?
  • Don’t you have a terribly empty feeling – in your skull?
  • Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
  • Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege!
  • Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It’ll only take 10 seconds.
  • Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?
  • He is living proof that man can live without a brain!
  • He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.
  • He’s not stupid; he’s possessed by a retarded ghost.
  • How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
  • I’d like to see things from your point of view but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass.

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