Becoming a "True" Bible Basher!

imageYip you heard it right from the horses mouth.  Well this is what a whole bunch  of sites tell me to do with my latest and greatest in the threesome of injuries (always threes).

Yes folks I have a Bible Bump.  WHAT??? I hear you ask.  Well it is this thing called a Ganglion cyst better known as a Bible Bump.  Wiki says “is a swelling that often appears on or around joints and tendons in the hand or foot. The size of the cyst can vary over time, often becoming more inflamed if irritated. It is most frequently located around the wrist and on the fingers.”

Yip mine is pea size and right between my finger and palm… thank you number 2, puppet master in the sky can I hand in a complaint letter now? Ok so how do I sort this out, I mean known cures and the like so I went searching… wait for it…

Home Treatments:

Needle insertion <– come again? well this is totally out (quite in gallery) for many reasons.  One of them being of course the fact that I run faster than the 100m gold medalist at the Olympics, no I am not kidding, I am like cheetah… I fly like the wind (not the dogs)

Bible Therapy – use of a heavy book to physically smash the cyst but be aware that this could possibly cause further injury.

Now I really do have a problem…

Where oh where is a Christian when I need one!

Yes there are no bibles in my house, don’t be so shocked.

The third thing? Oh that farting dog head butted me in the mouth and now my lip is doubled and because of this (you should see it, it is just too funny) I can’t stop laughing.

Post note: I mean no disrespect to those of Christian faith, it is merely a fact that history says that I have a bible bump

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16 thoughts on “Becoming a "True" Bible Basher!

  1. Oh, sweetie, you don’t have anyone to sit on you and lance the cyst? If I was there I’d do it for you. I’ve had to lance a cyst on my own hand before (I got a splinter that wasn’t removed, it ended badly) anyway, I’m not squeamish and I have good aim.

    (((HUGS))) and positive mental energy for you!

  2. Awwws thanks you, can I fly there tomorrow? Someone has said that I must do it myself tomorrow with a sewing needle and I almost passed out at the mere thought. (((HUGS))) back to you!!!

    Dang my luck!

    Yip, on the plane tomorrow for certainty!

  3. Seriously the needle (clean with alcohol or a lighter flame) is the best way but it has to go throughout until it gets out the other end, hence making two tiny holes. If you pierce it only once that won’t heal anything.
    If done cautiously it doesn’t hurt, I promise

    Hugs and mental energy as well 🙂

  4. Hayden you brave brave soul for hitting it I was grossed by that concept… where does all the gunk go? yurgh

    Froggywoogie rofl oh boy am lucky he didnt let one go with that thought! Thankfully just his hard malamute head. Thanks you but erm I have a seriarse problem with one hole now you say I must shove that deadly weapon right through??? *passes out* Hugs back!

    Joy I can just see it now … you tell me to “Bite on this” as you shove a stale cookie that Maddie licked into my mouth and then kill me slowly, oops I mean softly, while that song plays… *shivers & glares*

    Lindsey please tell me you do not live near this crazy woman, those stale cookies scare me!

  5. I can picture it. You sitting there with your fat lip saying “jethuth” while slamming the Bible on your hand.

    Can’t you get the dog to do it? Oh, wait. He creates bumps.

  6. I’d do it for you if I could. You wouldn’t have to look.
    Just think about something else to keep your mind busy during the process, like going shopping or paying a visit to your nearest butcher or something…

  7. AngryAfrican I just spat my lovely orange juice all down my front “jethuth” omg I am now literally laffing my ass off … hey at least my hand will be blessed erm I think so hmmm

    The dog is just plain bad juju, beautiful but bad all the same… least he eats the food I sneak under the table… next test is the brussel sprouts, crossing fingers!

    Froggywoogie ROFLMAO the nearest butcher??? eeeeeeek hmm France is near… but the thought of a butcher now I can’t get out of my head!

  8. I just thought…

    Your lip needs that needle treatment too, right?
    If you do it carefuly in front of your mirror it won’t hurt I swear

    Think of someting else during the process…

    😀

  9. LOL… now see… I told you becoming a Bible Basher would work for you. YOU didn’t believe me! What a baby! And even after I offered to send you one of my MANY needles to aspirate the cyst.

    Come come now… you are a better woman than this… just get a few vodka oranges in you.. you’ll be none the wiser!

  10. I think that you will be a mean older sister… what are you saying – that you will be the one sitting on top of me holding me down while Lindsey tries to be gentle and Joy tries stab me (and her cat licks my nose)?

    *starts running and hiding*

    Am thinking it will disappear as it is I am being threatened with other medical staff members. No amount of alcohol will get me stabbing myself.

    Ok well Im not telling till I’ve done it… perhaps it will disappear before I have the courage… *she hopes*

    Cowbag

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