F/H: Friday Funnies ~ The Jokes [PG18+]

Friday Funny time again and it’s becoming a bit of a tradition now.  I mean I know I post something everyday but erm well I’m making Fridays “Bumper Humper” as they say… or shall I say as I say

Other Friday Funnies: Friday Funnies and Stop Press: Roseanne seen poledancing in publicity bid! by a-broader view

I have seriously not stopped laughing thanks A Broad!

 

A blonde chick found herself sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. Bored,  the lawyer kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence (lawyers like easy prey). Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers he’d give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?” Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5.

The blonde then asked, “What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?”

The lawyer looked puzzled. He spent nearly an hour, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls, trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, “What is the answer to your question?”

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

image Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!”

His buddy looks at him and says, “Well, you’re obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say, ‘You as horny as I am?’ … and she always acts like she’s sound asleep!”

image For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, ‘Son, we’d give you one, but the mortgage on this house is £280,000 and your mother just lost her job so there’s no way we can afford it.’

The next day, the father saw little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, ‘Son, where are you going?’ Little Patrick said ‘I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling Mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her say wait because she was coming too. And I’ll be damned if I’m staying here by myself with a £280,000 mortgage and no bike.

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8 thoughts on “F/H: Friday Funnies ~ The Jokes [PG18+]

  1. Very good and perfect for a Friday evening as I slump into slothness for a while. (music, tv, munchies and the p.c all at once! I’m such a multi-tasker)
    Came over from lovely Haydens place to say hi!
    Thanks for the giggles.

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