F/H: Top 10 FAQ’s About Pregnancy

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Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.

Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word “alimony” means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A: So what’s your question?

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9 thoughts on “F/H: Top 10 FAQ’s About Pregnancy

  1. Glad you both enjoyed luckily no samples for me so this was just experimental of course… From all the tales I hear though – *hats off* don’t know if I could do it!

  2. I didn’t mind giving birth at all. Honestly. I didn’t even think it was that painful. Pregnancy, on the other hand… I’m not having any more babies, because I CANNOT stand the thought of being PREGNANT!

  3. Really good one…me thinks I could have done with some of this “wisdom” during my two pregnancies… [read: Weight just a minute…I am having a baby]…laughs all around!

  4. Lindsey yes this whole concept of 9 months and then the crescendo being ouch hmm I wonder. Probably the real truth is I fear the child being my stunt double.

    A Broad I will have a read later, your sense of humour always gets me laughing out like nothing else… am surprised I don’t have a well defined six pack by now from all the laughs! Perhaps because of the cookies but lets not discuss them.

    ifoundme lol the poor woman, I can only imagine how scary it must be!

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