Catching the 8 legged, four eyed, big butted monster…!

Merrily walking into the bedroom setting up the laptop for some bedtime writing and there it sat with its four eyes and big butt, the monster.  As my eyes laid sight on it I could feel my palms begin to get clammy and my heart beat adopted a rhythm faster than a bad 90’s “rave” (don’t ask).

This is what befell me on this barmy eve, the monster with 8 legs and four eyes… I didn’t stop to count teeth and one big butt!

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There I stood frozen, survival instinct on hold as the realisation of the monster filtered through the brain waves.  The body started to react and I looked down at Sidka, perhaps he would be brave enough to bark the thing into thing air, disintegrate it for us like one bark boom bang kapoof all gone.  Notta chance, our eyes met and then we ran for it before the monster could get us!

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He’s a sweetheart but a wimp as I found out tonight, no spider catching for him uh huh nope. He went and hid under the Dinning room table and I headed to the garage for the screw shooter thing (power tool that shoots those things into the wall like a gun… you know… those things).  No sharp object shooter to be found I grabbed an old extra large mayo jar and ran bag, this time with an extendable broom in hand as well.

I would’ve thought the monster would be shaking in his hairy boots at the sight of me… nooooo… there it sat with its big butt and teeth, not a care in the world.  Popped a few herbal calmer’s (I don’t think you understand how scared I am of spiders) and then slowly extend the broom handle towards it.  Slowly, ever so slowly, I started poking the monster in its tummy.  At first it refused to budge, it just stared at me with its four eyes and a glint I swear was a dare…

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One last dash with the broom stick and whoooop it flew into the air and landed with a bang on the floor by the bed.  Sidka and I did the look thing again and out we ran.  *breathe* The monster was trying to hide.  I crept in while scaredy-cat-dog hid behind the door (I am not kidding), yip, the monster was hiding by the curtain.  A few more prods with the broom stick and the chase was on.  Shit, this thing should’ve been running for South Africa in the Olympics it was so fast.  Hah, you think I’m kidding, no, I’m not talking the long distance 10km jog here… no sireeeee, I’m talking 100m sprints with a bit of hurdles mixed in.

The hurdles were naturally my barefooted toes

*shivers*

The chase was starting to wear the monster out and finally I managed to confuse him with directions (must’ve been a male spider) and got him somehow to get into the jar.  He wasn’t too happy with me.

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Monster now in the jar, Whimpass and I took him into the kitchen and put him on the counter to have a little chat about espionage and the likely hood of his mates coming to find him.  He refused to communicate and went as far as to pull a few fingers at us. 

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I looked down at Sidka and we just knew, there was no getting nothink out this monster of ours.  Sidka then tried his squint eye look to frighten the monster.  That didn’t work either.

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Here’s a side profile of the jarred grotesque 8 legged, four eyed, big butted monster…

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We are now wondering, Sidka aka Whimpass and I, on how to get this here monster out of the jar extraditing it back into its own land.  What if it tries to fly back in through the door? What if it jumps at us? What if it finds its friends and comes back while we SLEEP???

So now he sits, this hairy monster of ours, in a mayonnaise jar

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… Tonight we sleep with one eye open, the Whimpass and me …

 

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15 thoughts on “Catching the 8 legged, four eyed, big butted monster…!

  1. Oh man, you make me laugh. I’m not sure but spiders are probably the only thing in the world I’m not afraid of but that’s one ugly mother. That doesn’t look like any I have around here!!! Unless you have holes poked in the lid, he’ll just suffocate!! Hopefully his family won’t come looking for him!! Your descriptions are wonderful. Cute dog. Are you sure he’s the one farting over there???

  2. I usually don’t mind the spiders. I happen to have some climb in my palms to put out of the windows. If they look scarier I have them go on a sheet of paper and out the window as well. BUT I wouldn’t try doing that with these things you have in Africa! I think they’re all tricky lol
    I think your dog would have helped with a fart or two right into that thing’s face lol

  3. Joy OI! I am the cute one and he is the farting one! tsk tsk I managed to throw the jar it was in out the front garden – the dog was too busy cowering under the table… guard dog my ass.

    Ilegirl *hands over some cookies not baked by SF* Thanks you

    Froggywoogie *shivers* in your HAND? even the smaaaaalie ones I do NOT go near point blank uh huh no. Yers I did think Sidka would do some aerosol gas poisoning maneuvers but no too busy HIDING from the HUGE spider… scaredy cat that he is.

    Amber that darn dog refuses to go near that corner in my bedroom now, I try taking him there to check it out to see if there are bebe’s but nooo whimper whimper cry cry fart sheesh!

    Why did God create spiders and why aren’t there an spider sprays in Afreaka???

  4. I think he/she is beautiful, but I do understand not wanting to share your home with it. I do hope you released him/her to the outside world. 🙂

    You might find it interesting to look up the symbolic meaning of spiders.
    Here is one meaning:
    *Female energy for the creative force of life*
    Not bad..eh?

    Sidka is beautiful too! Thank you for sharing your world!

    Good and creative energies to you and yours!

  5. Gypsy are you saying you like spiders? I can’t be creative when one is in the room, I just can’t. The spiders here rip your skin off, they are poisonous and well their teeth are known to be as big as the width of my pinky… dunno, I just can’t paint under that pressure.

    I never kill anything, it is always catch and release unless it is an ant under my foot but then it is because I didn’t see it.

    Good and creative energies to you and yours as well

  6. Glaize *grins* you shoulda SEEN that THING!!! It’s gone now me thinks… she hopes

    Vishesh the folk tale is in process busy discussing with a friend over some fermented grape juice will try send it through to you tomorrow ks

  7. Sanity; just remember… arachnoids NEVER come alone!

    Check your shoes before you put them on. Look into drawers before reaching your hand into them. Shake out your towels before blindly wrapping them around your body.

    Be careful around there… be very careful. 😉

  8. You’re a big meanie *throws a look* lmao was about to say yeah sure I’ll send the dog in first to sniff it out then I remembered what a wimp he is so had to scratch that plan!

    You may just have saved my life, thank you dear mssc54!

  9. Gosh, I have seen exactly the same spider on the kitchen window a few minutes ago. Left the window open and hopefully it will be gone by tomorrow morning. Just two days ago found a rain spider on the granite counter in the kitchen, managed to chase it out of the window.

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