F/H: The Crocodile

This is a real life exam of a Grade 5 (Std. 3) pupil.

Primary School Exam 1 of the second term

Write an essay on the following question: “What is a crocodile?” Use block letters and write legibly.

Name: GERHARD JANSE VAN VUUREN

Date: Monday 22/05/2003

Answer:

The crokodil is a specially built so long because the flatter the better swimmer. At the front of the crokodil is the head. The head exists almost only of teeth. Behind the crokodil the tail grows. Between the head and the tail is the crokodil. A crokodil without a tail is called a rotwieler.

A crokodil’s body is covered with handbag material. He can throw his tail off if he gets a fright but it doesn’t happen much because a crokodil is scared of nothing. A crokodil stays under the water because if you were so ugly, you would also stay under the water. It is good that a crokodil stays under the water, because a person gets such a big fright if a crokodil catches you that he first has to rinse you off before he can eat you.

A crokodil isn’t hardly as dangerous as people say he is, except if he catches you. The longer he bites you, the more it hurts. Very old crokodils suck their people and buck that they catch dead. If you eat him, he is a crokosatie. A crokodil did not learn to swim with his arms so he uses his tail.

The little brother of the crokodil is a lizard. The slow sister of the crokodil is a chameleon. The wimp brother of the crokodil is a daffodil. And the crokodil also has a dead brother the frikkidel

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8 thoughts on “F/H: The Crocodile

  1. Oh man, I thought this was serious at first!! I’m such a dork! LMAO!!! I love the croc-a-doodle-do that vishesh wrote. That’s awesome. Wish I’d have thought of it first!

  2. Glaize indoods they are cute except I have been close to the gnashers and they do NOT brush!!!

    Vishesh rofl I dig that!

    Joy LOL I love catching you out! yips that is a goodie, thing is this is just so south african its sick, perhaps it is just so child like and perhaps something that I would’ve done which is worse?

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