2008… What a weird, strange, wonderful, horrible, traumatic, incredible, beautiful, loving, heart breaking, joyous, loss filled, soul destroying, knee jerking, soul lightening, friendship filled year of growth and forgiveness!
There is never any bad without good, a lesson I learnt at a young age, and although this year was more eventful than I have shared there were many moments of pure “oh wows”.
This year I lost a mentor, soul mother and friend. She helped me during my homeless years, someone that kept me on the right road and called me the Daughter given by Allah. Nessa was one of the good souls in this world, someone I will hold in my heart always, one whom I shan’t forget, both her memories and lessons. I am who I am today because of this wise woman and I was truly blessed with the chance of having her in my life.
This year I gained another mentor, a soul sister and friend. Her kind and compassionate soul stuck with me through thick and thin, never faltering, she kept me sane through long moments of insanity and loves me no matter what.
This year I dug through all the cupboards within the attic of my past, went through each box one by one and did some dusting, clearing out and accepting. Reliving the past willingly was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Facing the demons that lurked in the darkest corners and staring them in the eye soul destroying at times.
This year I re-learnt some valuable lessons, picked up a few new ones and found acceptance for what was that can never be undone or changed. I forgave the trespasses against me and re-looked at the reasons for their actions, what made these people do the things they did to me. I forgave these people a long time ago but never truly faced the anger that simmered deep within my belly. I gave it up, understood and accepted. Through it all I have grown strong and never again will I allow all that has happened in the past to happen once more.
This year people whom I thought were one thing, true and with backbone broke my heart. Family members and once good friends alike, chance after chance, they proved themselves the fakes that they are. Lies, deceptions, manipulation and selfishness ripped my heart to shreds, over and over again to the point that I started to believe that there were no people in this world with a heart or soul.
This year I was shown over and over again that there are people in this world that have the biggest of hearts, whose souls shine such bright lights that they pierce the darkest of nights. For each person that broke my heart in my life I have found more than a couple of true, brilliant, amazing, warm, giving, kind, compassionate and loving people whom I now call dear friends.
2008 has given me it’s higher than highs and its lower than lows with it’s last gift to me from my birth mother. She informed me on Christmas day that she had sold everything of mine, the sum of which she is keeping. All I now own is the clothes I have with me, the clothes that I need to get from my sisters and 5 paintings.
I own one more thing far greater than all of those, the one thing she could not sell, the one thing no one can ever sell, not anymore…
I own my life!
So thank you 2008, I will drink a toast to you tomorrow night with a big smile on my face in thanks and happiness.
There is no bad without the good