I am stronger than I believed…

I have been on a hiatus of sorts, not much energy for deep thoughts pertaining to life over the last few years.  I don’t feel guilty or bad either, sometimes you just need to take a break to focus on the present in order to look once again towards the future horizons.

This is the first time I feel that I am in the right place to be able to write about the last 5 years.

5 years on and my body is still  healing from it’s latest assault, this time it happened thankfully while I was unconscious and on an operating table.

I woke up with over 10 3rd and 2nd degree burns to my arm.  They tried to hide it but you can’t hide pain nor the dreams at night.  The subconscious is interesting that way, how it recreates in order to deal with confusion.

It’s been a journey of experiences, of frustration and of healing.  3 Surgeries, burn treatments, hyperbaric chamber treatments and Physical Therapy later and I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The most memorable lessons through out this time have been…

Learning to use my fingers again during the burn therapy treatments. I found I had more perseverance than  I once believed, more determination than ever in my life before to get back the full use of my hand.

I learnt that I was stronger than I could imagine when they treated my deep wounds by ripping off dead skin.  Going through intense daily pain and smiling at the end of the day took strength I didn’t realize I had. Doing physical therapy with burns on my arm as well was pretty good character building.

I realized that what I have always said, what is inside us is greater than the outside.  The number of people suggesting I get plastic surgery for the scars were numerous.  I have scars, we all do.

I have no fear or shame in the scars I bear both inside and outside.  They make up who I am and the journey I am on.  My Sonder. Life would be boring without battle scars of which the ones on my arm are not the only ones.

Life is about experiencing things, living is experiencing: the good, the bad and the ugly.

Who would we be without our experiences?

Today I am just me, I have no more presumptions, no more reservations.

I have been to the dark side of the moon and come back more alive than ever.

I have experienced more in my life than many yet not as much as others.

I still have so much more to experience and do… and I can’t wait!

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